i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
