the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
