I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
