so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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