It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
