Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
