Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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