R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
