Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
