New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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