its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
