but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The air taste purple.
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