You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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