Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
