yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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