Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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