There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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