she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
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He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
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I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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