they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
