that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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