What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We talked him into tasing himself.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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