I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
