If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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