I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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