I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
