o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
