No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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