i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
