He kissed a someone with a penis
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
