my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
