I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
