I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can't put those talents on a resume
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
