all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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