I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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