Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize