so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
