dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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