Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
