bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
