You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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