note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
