One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
