Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
