Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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