its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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