So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
