i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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