I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
