I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
