When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
