Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
