the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
