Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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