i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
