Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
we're so committed to being not committed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
