Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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