What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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