i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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