Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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